I wish I spoke code.


I was in high school when computer classes were rolled into the curriculum. I even took one, an entry-level grade eight offering that taught you how to make the computer say “Hi, my name is Michelle.” If you felt like mixing it up, you could even make it repeat the message into infinity and beyond.

We’ll pretend I did it the first time on purpose.

But then I broke my arm and the cast made keyboarding a non-starter, as did the break. I finished the term as a glorified office gopher, earning what I consider to be a rather sketchy “office skills” credit in lieu of payment for child labour.  

That I didn’t take another computer course speaks less to interest and more to schedule space. Once you fill up on academic requirements, elective space becomes limited. Mine more so since I was committed to continuing with music. I lost one elective to orchestra every year, more to singing and jazz later.  I’d have had more wiggle room in the latter grades if I hadn’t been planning on university, but those prerequisites also gobbled up space.

So, while I can search the world wide web with alacrity, and while I’m good with various word and data processing programs, coding is a step too far.

I took an online course a few years back but it didn’t go well. It’s not the mechanism – I’ve taken plenty of MOOCs without issue. It’s the subject matter. I struggle to make things make sense. I find it helpful in those cases to try again in the real world. That way, there are people to help. [i]

I’d probably cry less. Maybe have fewer temper tantrums.

I don’t do well with frustration. Unlike the rest of the world, which excels.

If I could code, I could do some of the backend work on my blog myself. I could start a new one from scratch if I chose.

I could hack an evil corporation and steal a fraction of a penny from every transaction, rendering myself rich overnight. That might be a movie.

I could save us from destruction in case there was a global computer virus and all the experts were busy and everything was down to me, a random loner, just like in the movies.

You don’t know.

I’d also like to do better at French. I’m pretty good with reading, but I’ve lost my auditory and aural skills. Luckily, there are apps for that.

I decided to go with Babbel.   

I wonder who wrote the code?

[i] MOOC – A massive open online course is a course of study made available over the internet without charge to a very large number of people. Some have small charges, but they remain significantly cheaper than post-secondary institutions.

The Secret History of Women In Coding. A fabulous read.

14 thoughts on “I wish I spoke code.

  1. Everyone learnt coding and I didn’t. I am surrounded by people working in software industry and for a long time thought low of myself. Now even if I am taught for free I don’t think I will be interested in taking a course. But as you said I can make my page better!! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Computer classes in school… Ahhh the days of floppy disks!
    I did study coding, well, website building, would be more appropriate name for it. It seemed hard and not something I thought I would ever have to worry about, so, naturally, I paid very little attention and just did things as needed. I remember doing a website for books. Like a library or something, I think. It was cool. While I agree it would be cool to know code, I feel like it’s still not something I need. WordPress builds stuff for you. shrug I usually like putting in the old-fashioned work, but not in that instance.

    Liked by 1 person

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