This is a rarity: I almost never write directly onto the platform. Doing so precludes the repeated editing and revising I like to undertake before ultimately binning my efforts. I’ve dissolved attempts a plenty this past week, including a whiny, self-indulgent rant about family – been there, done that – and a piece on the increase in my self-mutilating behaviour that was flip and shallow – it too got derezzed.
I started something on my history of obsessive movie watching that isn’t ready to go and I’m not happy with the piece about pain. The end result is an off-the-cuff blog entry.
The problem is I don’t spend much time writing. I don’t spend much time on any one thing. I flit around doing this and that. I accomplish a shocking amount by the end of the day if you exclude things I should focus on but I’m nowhere near linear.
I started to write about that too, about the fallout from discontinuing one of my medications at long last, the hated Latuda, and the corresponding rise of PTSD symptoms but where do you start? I struggle to separate and categorize my behaviours: which one goes with which neuroses again?
I started to write about a lot of things: about compliance; about pain; about my brain’s obsessive focus on illness and disease; about my ongoing battle with the backyard squirrels. I gave up on most of them: they were frankly awful. Although evaluating oneself on any metric when one is depressed is a bad idea.
Something else I should know.
On the bright side, it’s Saturday, which means no rules and no expectations. Saturday is my free day. No guilt whatever I choose (obviously, this does not mean acceding to neurotic demands). There might even be snow.
Do you have special Saturday plans or is it just another day?
Do you write in the Word Press platform or do you copy and paste?
Do you feel obligated to your blog to produce something when you’ve been absent for too long?