because i am a girl
the simple becomes complex and fraught.
not the science
though many would suggest it is beyond my grasp;
not the philosophy
which is embedded in the female mind
through chick lit and magazines
certainly not the math
the unthinking educators and toy makers
like to believe that the concepts therein
are too difficult for the fragile
female psyche to embrace
the truth is that we are,
as a species,
indoctrinated in numbers from early on,
in measurements and shapes,
in the geometry of the body,
and the math of nutrients in and energy out.
we are masters of physics and biology,
steeped in nutrition and kinetics.
not the commerce either;
the ability to spend and budget and balance
is a societal requirement.
girls are taught to see it and want it,
to need it and consume it
before we have the words
but the simple, that’s beyond my grasp.
the basic needs,
my appetites and desires
long ago lost touch with reality.
eating has little to do with hunger,
it’s calculating input and output,
correlated with the size of the jeans.
i don’t move to feel the joy of a body in motion
but so inappropriate bits won’t jiggle when i walk,
and fatigue is simply a function of
the not eating and the too much moving
and the too many hours working
to buy the things i don’t need
but must have
in order to be alright,
since all too often
being female puts you already in the wrong.
it’s not simple
and my brain gets tired
and the effort to exist beyond the narrow world
assigned to me
and so i seem shallow and venal,
incapable of deep philosophical yearnings and thoughts,
but the reality is
it’s an effort to fight against the tide.
when the simple is
always and forever