trigger warning – suicidal thoughts, ideations, and behaviours.
today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I decided to re-post a blog i did that discusses my own attempts and some of the consequences that resulted.
we can never know anyone else, not really, not what they’re thinking or feeling or planning. the best we can do is be there for others. be open, be accessible, be non-judgmental, be kind.
when i made my attempts, i couldn’t see any other way out. i couldn’t face another day living my life as it was and i had no hope that things would change.
i’m grateful i didn’t succeed, but i’m not so far away that i can’t remember what it was like to be on the ledge. i’m not so far away that i don’t still think about the ledge sometimes.
i think about what someone might have done to help me before i got to that point. i think perhaps what i needed was to be seen. to have people talk to me about where i was headed, even if i was defensive, even if i tried to deflect. when you are that deep in the pit, it’s tempting to reject the hands that reach for you. remember that, and keep reaching out. i wanted the help i rejected, i just didn’t know how to let go enough to reach for it.