If I am when I think, am I not when I don’t? That hasn’t been my experience. When I’m meditating, when I’m not thinking in favour of simply being, that’s when I feel most “me”. Absenting thoughts in favour of pure existence is my favourite kind of meditation. It’s also the one I struggle with most; my monkey brain loves to follow every random, … Continue reading Not thinking.
I’m a fan of the tree. I have been since I was small. I love me some forest and I’m lucky; it’s only a stone’s throw away. My childhood home had a yard full of trees. In my memory, the backyard was an ocean of grass and forest. I visited recently: where I grew up is not far from where I live now. The backyard … Continue reading A fan of the tree.
(Priorities (part one)) My least favourite part of writing is when I sit down to the sleeping computer and I can see my reflection in it. The more depressed I get, the harder it gets to look at myself. I told my counsellor today that I had an image of reaching into the computer and shredding every scrap of evidence of my online presence because … Continue reading There’s some anger (part two)
I’m not a good person when I’m seriously depressed. I’m not good with myself and I’m not good with other people. Perhaps it’s because you can’t give what you don’t have? If you can’t give yourself love, respect, and acceptance; if you can’t give yourself empathy, caring, and understanding, you won’t be giving it to other people. At least not consistently. Even if you think … Continue reading Priorities (part one).
From Famine to Feast 