Our own Coliseum.

Most of what I know about the Coliseum comes from entertainment – yes Gladiator, I’m talking about you. I haven’t seen it in person yet. I did read about ancient Rome recently. My takeaway after my admittedly cursory review of articles I followed down the Google rabbit hole is this: the games were a clever idea. They gave the government a place to torture slaves and criminals, they helped promote Rome’s leaders, and they distracted the population from the problems of daily life. Knowing that those were the goals, can we really say that reality shows and social media platforms (a different kind of reality show) are that much different?...

I looked at people.

I looked at people today, in all kinds of locations. This is not something I normally do. It goes beyond no eye contact which I also find difficult and low-grade loathe. I push making and maintaining eye contact with friends because I recognize that avoiding it causes unconscious messages to be sent. But even with people I know well, I struggle. Strangers? Often, I don’t bother at all...

Coffee

I came to coffee late in the game but I’ve made up for lost time. I drink a robust number of cups every day. I may have a problem with consumption; this is because I tend to embrace vices wholeheartedly. Rather than criticize myself, I’m trying to take a lifetime view. When you consider the years that I didn’t drink coffee, my cup per day average is really quite low...

Distrusting your judgement.

...I like to say I have awful judgement, that I’m a poor judge of character, and that I’m bad at reading signs but that’s just a knee-jerk, self-critical response. The truth is, I’m actually pretty good at it. In retrospect, a lot of my judgements and conclusions and feelings have been accurate. I just don’t listen to them. I ignore what I think, I ignore my gut. Because who am I to have an opinion or feeling about anything that directly affects me? Who am I to say what I think?...

Picky about clothes.

...I get overwhelmed by sensory input at times. I don’t like crowds, or even just a large number of friends together. I don’t like loud noises for sustained periods. I don’t like a lot of physical touch; hugs and arms slung around my shoulders are mostly a no-go. I don’t like excessive visual inputs – things like strobe lights start to bother me very quickly. And there are a lot of things I don’t like about clothing. I’d be probably go naked more often if I didn’t have that whole body-hatred thing going on...