I’ve had four solid panic attacks over the last two weeks. Sometimes, you’ll get a hint of one pending but you can head it off. This was not the case here. They’re all connected to foster parenting, and the fear I’m doing something wrong or have made a mistake. My brain is not a fan of the mistake, and since everything I’m doing right now … Continue reading Tidal panic attacks – they ebb and flow – an off-the-cuff joint.
I have two kiddos in care living in my home right now. My life has suddenly become one of busy schedules and outside demands. I talked about fostering a lot with my counsellor before I committed. We talked about television dreams and reality. On television and in the movies, the terror, trauma, grief, and distress of the children in care are minimized or absent. Imagine … Continue reading The pub at the end of the week, an off-the-cuff joint.
The new year always turns me into a cow – I ruminate. Thoughts of this, that, and the other drift across my consciousness, but at this time of year, I tend to focus on the past. Maybe it’s the dark? I’ve been taking an online course about brain development. It has a particular focus on problems that can arise during child development if there is … Continue reading Memories.
I didn’t love my therapy appointment this week. I felt absent. I didn’t talk about what was bothering me except in the most sideways of fashions. I got there after discussing everything and everything else. A side note as I was leaving. “By the way, I think my depression is getting worse.” Except, I think I was mistaken. I’m depressed, it’s true, but that’s not … Continue reading Why did I react so strongly?
From Famine to Feast. 