it’s what you choose that matters

"I’m not going to attend a memorial today. There are reasons I should. It’s for an old friend of the family. It's being held at my parents’ home. Attending memorials when asked is something you’re supposed to do. Except I don’t want to go. I have no concrete reason beyond that, no well-articulated argument to justify my absence. I simply lack the desire to attend..."

attempting suicide fundamentally changes you

"i’ve tried to kill myself three times, most recently in november of 2014.

it is a bizarre thing to able to write that about yourself. it’s a strange thing to know about yourself, to know that you are capable of taking such drastic action. there was a point in my life, long past now..."