I’ve been studying religion of late. I’m currently taking a course about Christianity. I remember more than I thought. There’s also much I didn’t know. I just finished day seven: “Death and resurrection, violence, suffering, and justice.” These topics were not emphasized in Sunday school. There is darkness in the Bible. There’s violence, pain, and a great deal of death. I have questions about what … Continue reading Suffering is optional.
An eating disorder isn’t really about the body. The problem originates elsewhere. It’s history, nature, both, and neither. It’s what makes treatment challenging. Everyone comes from a different place. There’s no eating disorder penicillin. For me, anxiety is a large piece of the puzzle. The historical happenings are significant but my anxious nature is why my compensatory behaviours went the way they did. Anxiety feels … Continue reading Not about the body.
I’m a shockingly vain person. I don’t want to be, exactly. It comes along with the eating disorder. The only started thinking about it recently. It’s hard to square vanity with self-hatred but an eating disorder shows it’s possible to exhibit both simultaneously. Eating disorders are many things. Self-love is not one of them. Vanity is excessive pride in or admiration of one’s appearance or … Continue reading Vanity. Definitely my favourite sin. *
I do some of my best thinking when my brain is acting up. And when I’m depressed. I write some of my best poetry when darkness descends, something that annoys me a little; it’s such a trite and expected thing. I get philosophical when my brain is acting up. I get contemplative. I search for a purpose. It’s all very deep. I also do bad … Continue reading Some of my best thinking.
