An eating disorder isn’t really about the body. The problem originates elsewhere. It’s history, nature, both, and neither. It’s what makes treatment challenging. Everyone comes from a different place. There’s no eating disorder penicillin. For me, anxiety is a large piece of the puzzle. The historical happenings are significant but my anxious nature is why my compensatory behaviours went the way they did. Anxiety feels … Continue reading Not about the body.
I’m a shockingly vain person. I don’t want to be, exactly. It comes along with the eating disorder. The only started thinking about it recently. It’s hard to square vanity with self-hatred but an eating disorder shows it’s possible to exhibit both simultaneously. Eating disorders are many things. Self-love is not one of them. Vanity is excessive pride in or admiration of one’s appearance or … Continue reading Vanity. Definitely my favourite sin. *
I do some of my best thinking when my brain is acting up. And when I’m depressed. I write some of my best poetry when darkness descends, something that annoys me a little; it’s such a trite and expected thing. I get philosophical when my brain is acting up. I get contemplative. I search for a purpose. It’s all very deep. I also do bad … Continue reading Some of my best thinking.
I’ve been losing at cards. Consistently. I’ve been losing at Yahtzee too. And Scrabble, which never happens. I even came close to defeat in Scattergories. For me, that’s losing at the apocalyptic-level. It’s even happening with my apps. Talk about distressing. Apps are supposed to let you win every so often; it’s how they keep you playing and watching the ads. Seriously. Don’t play for … Continue reading I’ve been losing lately and I don’t like it.
From Famine to Feast 