My mom died on January 4, 2024, and we’re approaching that time. Autumn is when things got really hard. Autumn is when she started talking about ending treatment. Side effects are a hellscape sometimes. I find I’m spinning my wheels a bit as the anniversary beckons. Much of my movement these days is lateral. My ‘give a damn’ is a bit broken. Unless you cut … Continue reading Grief anniversaries- an off-the-cuff joint.
Self-criticism I’m a professional when it comes to pointing out my flaws and mistakes. I rarely give myself grace. I have little mercy when it comes to slips and missteps. You’d think I was running evaluations for the Olympic committee. I have more grace for other people. Other people are expected to be human, to make mistakes, and to be imperfect. These are lessons … Continue reading Be Aware of the Unkind Inner Voice.
Habits are a two-edged sword. They aren’t great if they keep us small, or cause distress. Much space is given to discussing the impacts of bad habits and the benefits of quitting them. Much space is given to writings about freeing oneself from their hold and its rut. Leaving harmful habits behind does improve one’s life – my only quitting smoking regret is that I … Continue reading Habits, bedspreads, and mattress pads.
Mental illness is tidal. I’m depressed again. I didn’t notice until yesterday. I often don’t notice right away. It can take a bit to tease out the motivations behind my behaviours, especially when there are other challenges in my life. The grief I’m feeling since my mother’s death, and coming to terms with the new relationship with my aging father take a toll. People who … Continue reading I’m technically depressed.
From Famine to Feast. 