I feel not quite right. My world has been upended, a hard thing for someone used to and fond of minimal change. Things are starting to level, for myself and the child now in my care, but we had a rough week. Head-bumping. Conflict. Annoyance. I accept the lion’s share of the blame. I cannot allow myself to forget, even for a moment, that this … Continue reading Internalized chaos – an off-the-cuff joint.
I’ve had four solid panic attacks over the last two weeks. Sometimes, you’ll get a hint of one pending but you can head it off. This was not the case here. They’re all connected to foster parenting, and the fear I’m doing something wrong or have made a mistake. My brain is not a fan of the mistake, and since everything I’m doing right now … Continue reading Tidal panic attacks – they ebb and flow – an off-the-cuff joint.
I have two kiddos in care living in my home right now. My life has suddenly become one of busy schedules and outside demands. I talked about fostering a lot with my counsellor before I committed. We talked about television dreams and reality. On television and in the movies, the terror, trauma, grief, and distress of the children in care are minimized or absent. Imagine … Continue reading The pub at the end of the week, an off-the-cuff joint.
It’s the beginning of February. New month, new motto. This year’s theme is “Keep moving forward” and I doubled up, making it the theme for January as well. February, however, is about channelling my inner Elsa. I always feel good when I make a semi-current reference, like the aforementioned nod to Frozen. It lets me pretend I’m not solidly middle-aged, though ignoring the eye wrinkles … Continue reading Let it go, one more time.
From Famine to Feast. 