It’s been a rough week. I’d been getting a little thin, so I thought I’d gain a little weight. I didn’t talk to anyone beforehand, of course. At any rate, I’ve gained some, but between working on my body dysmorphia and a strained effort at reconnection by my daughter (I can hear my counsellor’s voice, “why are you giving her this much power over you,” … Continue reading Early memes were fun.
TW: frank talk about mental illness, cutting, blood Body dysmorphia My obsession with my appearance began young, but self-mutilation only started in my twenties. It was tied to my eating disorder – cutting and picking at my face were part of my bulimic process – but it’s also an entity of its own and hasn’t stopped with my eating disorder recovery, though it’s significantly less … Continue reading Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Seven months ago, my daughter ghosted me. She was angry and upset over something I’d said and rather than talking to me about it, she went with radio silence. During a subsequent text exchange about five months later as she tried to reconnect, suggesting it had nothing to do with me, mostly. She had fallen into another abusive relationship and that had led to problems. … Continue reading You’re not as awful as you think.
Some pathologies stump your growth – literal and/or metaphoric. Eating disorders are in that category. Eating disorders quickly become your everything. Other affections, beliefs, or values become subordinate to the demands it makes. I was a vegetarian on principle – I hate factory farms – except when I binged. I believed in feminism, except when it got in the way of my need to be … Continue reading Who are you and how do you want to spend your one, precious life.
From Famine to Feast 