"I’m currently dealing with failure. It’s a failure that’s totally out of my control. Unfortunately, there are mitigating circumstances that were in my control, and I’m having a hard time not blaming myself for them. Blaming ourselves for our historical actions is problematic and pointless. We can’t change what’s already done. That doesn’t, however, erase the struggle..."
"I’m failing at my eating disorder and my eating disorder voice reminds me of that fact incessantly. She’s a bitch that way. I feel bad about failing, which is odd, considering that I’m mourning the absence of incredibly destructive behaviours. We miss what we know, even if it’s negative; we miss the loss of the familiar. I’m failing because I’m eating..."
"editing is one of those steps that i used to skip when i wrote things. i never reread what i wrote; what would have been the point? wasn’t it perfect? didn’t my words land on the page in the best possible configuration? how could i possibly improve on the perfection inspiration brings?"