I’m stuck, and I’m not enjoying it. I feel trapped inside myself of late. I feel like I’m doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. This isn’t true objectively, but it’s how I feel nevertheless. Even writing things out and checking them off doesn’t help. When I start feeling paralyzed by inertia, it usually means depression has strengthened her grip. I’m also rage-filled and quick to anger of … Continue reading Chaos, Change, and Leaning In.
I very rarely meet books I don’t like. I can usually find something of value between two covers. Unless the content is deliberately ugly, some piece of nastiness designed to lower the state of discourse and human society, in which case I tend to judge and condemn without cracking the spine. I don’t need to eat worms to know I won’t enjoy the experience. As … Continue reading Rereading is friendship and inspiration.
Sliding and self-sabotage The good behaviours drift away slowly, quiet-like so you don’t notice, so the alarms don’t ring. What is this tendency we have towards shooting ourselves in the foot? I know this isn’t just a me thing. I’m often surprised our species survives. Self-sabotage is especially true of new and improved behaviours. They’re harder to hang onto in times of stress. It’s when … Continue reading Risking eating disorder relapse during times of grief.
I haven’t had a vacation I’ve not had a real vacation since before 2019. In fact, my last real vacation was my aborted attempt at a solo trip to Mazatlan. It didn’t end particularly well. There was a weekend up to Salmon Arm with my friendly acquaintances in the summer of 2022, although my memories of that one are tainted by my discovery that I … Continue reading Weekday getaways with a side of anxiety – an off-the-cuff joint.
From Famine to Feast 