My 21-month old grandson punched me in the face last night. It was not an accident – he was extremely angry with me. I was being unreasonable; I wouldn’t let him pull a thirty-pound picture down from the wall onto his head. He wanted to undertake this course of action very much and his frustration over my refusal was expressed by violence. In return, he was placed on the floor and admonished, yet again, “We don’t hit. We like gentle hands.”… Continue reading We don’t hit.
I looked at people today, in all kinds of locations. This is not something I normally do. It goes beyond no eye contact which I also find difficult and low-grade loathe. I push making and maintaining eye contact with friends because I recognize that avoiding it causes unconscious messages to be sent. But even with people I know well, I struggle. Strangers? Often, I don’t bother at all… Continue reading I looked at people.
…One would think that being productive would be a good thing. And it was. Initially. I had one piece ready and then two and then three. But, since I keep the finished posts open on my desktop, things started to get crowded. I decided to redo my file organization… Continue reading Too prepared.
I’m trying to become a better person. Part of the reason is to atone. I spent a great many years being not a good person. It’s a feature of eating disorders. They make you selfish and insular and shortsighted. I regret, greatly, a great many of the things I said and did when my eating disorder was at my worst. I would like, very much, to be a better person in the future. So, I decided to actively work on it… Continue reading Trying to be a better person.
From Famine to Feast 