I’m not a fan of scales. I find it strange that I dislike tools of measurement when I’m all about order and precision and symmetry in my day-to-day life. You’d think I’d have an affection… Continue reading Mood by the numbers.

I’m planning on pulling the trigger on some big changes. I’m setting aside the fact that I’m currently depressed. Yes, it will make things more challenging but I’m never fully not depressed anymore, anyhow so waiting for that day is pointless. It’s always possible a change might push my mood up to a more elevated level and since it’s unlikely to make it worse, there’s no downside to giving it a go.

I’ve read a few (hundred) books about making positive changes. Recent perusals include ones on quitting smoking, increasing longevity via diet and exercise, and improving wellness with day-to-day activities like music therapy. I’m chock-a-block full of information. So, I decided to put together a plan implementing the bits and pieces of advice, based on changes I want to make to things I do on a daily basis…
Continue reading When there’s a problem with the plan (eating disorders are a pain).

Depression makes me feel a bit like a meat puppet. That’s a graphic description perhaps, but not an inaccurate expression of my current state.

Depression leaves me here but not here; I am a body I haul around and put through the motions, a marionette, a pantomime puppet who is not a real girl. I walk and talk but the disconnect is huge; I feign emotions and connection but it’s an empty act. Depression makes everything unreal, distant…
Continue reading A bit like a meat puppet.