It’s not that I’ve not been writing. It’s that I hate every word and send my attempts to the electronic paper shredder in the sky. All of it was meandering crap I couldn’t bear to look at. Pointlessly pointless. Unfortunately, regular deleting has a deleterious effect on productivity. New plan. No deleting. Post the less than perfect. This may backfire and result in zero writing. … Continue reading Free-form posting.
I like to look out the window at the neighbour’s lilac tree and watch the life therein. I positioned my desk well even if the “back to the door” of my chair occasionally gives me heebie-jeebies. Sometimes, life watches back: the squirrels and chickadees are infinitely curious about what’s going on behind the monitor and I swear the hummingbird wants to start something. … Continue reading Lilacs, birds, and pink-slips.
I’m not going to do yoga today. My hips are aching. I’ve been doing about three hours of it a day these past ten days or so. I suspect that’s excessive. It’s not all at once. A twenty-minute cycle here, fifteen minutes of poses there. It’s about not being sedentary and placating my eating disorder voice. I do not have the energy to deal with … Continue reading A breadknife and things I’m supposed to be doing.
[Trigger warning. I reference self-harm. It might be disturbing.] I have a vague headache and I’m deciding between marijuana and ibuprofen. The numbed-out life has an appeal. I didn’t eat breakfast until about eleven. Definitely headache-contributing behaviour. I wasn’t hungry. I’m never hungry these days. That doesn’t stop me from rage eating compulsively every now and then. We are who we are, after all, and … Continue reading Dark corners and crafts.
From Famine to Feast 