A friend posted a meme on Facebook that caught my eye. It stated, “You can never truly feel at home in a body you view as temporary.” She prefaced the post with the following question:
“What if the body you have today is the one you have to live with?”
Continue reading The body you have to live with.
An eating disorder is a destructive thing but also helpful in an odd, dysfunctional way. It acts as a kind of support structure. It’s scaffolding. It’s the glue that holds everything together when the emotions seem too difficult to manage. It locks up the pain, the misery, the anxiety, the inferiority complex, the self-hatred and all the neuroses and keeps them barricaded away so you don’t have to deal with bad feelings… Continue reading An eating disorder is a structure.
I had a mammogram this morning. It was not an auspicious start to a Friday. The day gets worse when you get a call not two hours later from a nurse at the breast clinic, telling you “the radiologist has some concerns; can you come in Tuesday morning?”… Continue reading I probably don’t have breast cancer.
I’ve been gaining weight. I’ve mentioned it here before. I hate it. I’ve mentioned that too. I’m trying to learn to accept it. To be, at my counsellor’s behest, political about my body the way I am about other things. Social justice things. It’s time to start developing a sense of personal justice. It’s time to fight back against the nasty bits and pieces that drove me to develop a disorder that focuses on having the perfect body in order to feel acceptable… Continue reading Eating quirks, normalcy, and acceptance.
