lean into the discomfort
“…I’m pretty good at dealing with discomfort from morning until dinnertime. It’s the evening hours that lead to struggle. That’s when thoughts I’d rather not be thinking crawl out from the corners of my brain. That’s when negative impulses start to push hard against efforts to resist them. That’s when anxiety likes to kick it up a notch…” Continue reading lean into the discomfort
Peanut butter and banana sandwiches
“I eat a lot of peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Nearly every day for lunch, in fact, and that bothers me some. I worry over whether it’s compulsive. Eating’s difficult when you’re recovering from an eating disorder. It’s not easy or natural for me yet. Preparing and eating a meal at mealtime takes thought. Not restricting is a challenge – if a bagel would be good, perhaps half a bagel with no butter would be better. I have those conversations with my food choices quite regularly…” Continue reading Peanut butter and banana sandwiches
you exist, even when you’re depressed
“The thing I hate most about my depression is that when it’s here, when it’s on the upswing and taking over, who I am disappears. I get lost amidst the blackness, drowned in the sorrow, burned up in the anger. All that is me starts to vanish and I’m terrified I’ll never get myself back…” Continue reading you exist, even when you’re depressed
it’s what you choose that matters
“I’m not going to attend a memorial today. There are reasons I should. It’s for an old friend of the family. It’s being held at my parents’ home. Attending memorials when asked is something you’re supposed to do.
Except I don’t want to go. I have no concrete reason beyond that, no well-articulated argument to justify my absence. I simply lack the desire to attend…”
Continue reading it’s what you choose that matters
From Famine to Feast 