i’m fat again today
“so i’m fat today but not fat. i have incongruity. what i know to be true and what i feel are utterly at odds. it’s a disconcerting and uncomfortable feeling.” Continue reading i’m fat again today
Author: Michelle
I've lived with mental illness my whole life. I walk hand-in-hand with my neuroses these days, and sometimes I write about what that's like for me. I prefer the peaceful coexistence of détente to the open warfare of the past.
I'm also in recovery from an eating disorder that ate decades of my life, pun intended. It's been hard: recovery is very much a walk through hell - the rainbows, puppies, and chocolate fountains come later - but it's worth it. Recovery lets you have the life the eating disorder promises and lies about 💜
a new bodega
“i’ve started going to a new corner store – to call it a bodega might be stretching the definition some. it’s been a challenge; if you don’t suffer from anxiety, you might not realize what an enormously big deal a change like this is.” Continue reading a new bodega
i’m dying to be beautiful
“some topics come up more than others, in my blog and in my brain. i revisit this one regularly, because the desire to be beautiful takes up huge parts of my psyche and it’s killing me. analyzing my history and thought processes, unpacking what i think “beautiful” means and why i can’t be okay if i can’t meet the arbitrary and ever-changing definitions i impose are important things to understand” Continue reading i’m dying to be beautiful
my child
“i would tell you that i love you more than my life,
and that your existence is more vital to me than anything else in the world,
and that your morning smiles give me a reason to get up every day – Continue reading my child
