“I’ve been trying something new with my meditation, now that I’m back to doing it semi-regularly. I’ve been meditating with my eyes open. It’s an odd experience. It makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like it; generally speaking, vulnerability is not something I do well…” Continue reading eyes open and vulnerable
“I’m failing at my eating disorder and my eating disorder voice reminds me of that fact incessantly. She’s a bitch that way.
I feel bad about failing, which is odd, considering that I’m mourning the absence of incredibly destructive behaviours. We miss what we know, even if it’s negative; we miss the loss of the familiar.
I’m failing because I’m eating…” Continue reading Failing at my eating disorder.
“I just finished reading Jack Kerouac’s Dharma Bums. It’s the first Kerouac novel I’ve read, and I’m not going to kid you – it was a challenge to adapt to his writing style. Once you get the rhythm, however, wow. He was brilliant. His descriptions are fantastic, and his writing is intense. He pulls you into his world and keeps you there, sharing his thoughts and philosophies, and detailing what life was like for those in the beat generation, for those who dropped out.
It’s all philosophy and striving for contentment and learning to just be.
There were also some very interesting parties.
I wish I’d been there.
I wish I could write like that.
My feelings about my writing are problematic…”
Continue reading when it’s hard to like yourself
“I’m trying to complain less, especially about the small things. Those mundane little annoyances that beset everyone and send me into over-the-top over-reactions all too often. I failed in my resolve yesterday when I engaged in a rather spectacular, internal whine-fest upon realizing I had to water my plants again, a small and simple task to be sure…” Continue reading trying to complain less
