Heat in September
Why does the heat feel different in September?
How does it know
that fall is fast approaching?…
Continue reading Heat in September
Author: Michelle
I've lived with mental illness my whole life. I walk hand-in-hand with my neuroses these days, and sometimes I write about what that's like for me. I prefer the peaceful coexistence of détente to the open warfare of the past.
I'm also in recovery from an eating disorder that ate decades of my life, pun intended. It's been hard: recovery is very much a walk through hell - the rainbows, puppies, and chocolate fountains come later - but it's worth it. Recovery lets you have the life the eating disorder promises and lies about 💜
Tired of looking for the win.
I’m tired of celebrating small achievements. It gets old. It feels pathetic.
I feel pathetic.
Yes, I know I shouldn’t and yes, I know that’s one of the ways depression takes you down but seriously, I’ve started to hate positive self-talk. I’m not interested in telling myself I’m doing well. Because seriously, compared to my former life, my achievement bar is set pretty low. I now give myself props for the smallest of things: You got dressed; good for you. Congrats on washing your face. You brushed your teeth before 2 p.m. – kudos. And look at you, wearing make-up. Good job.
It feels so patronizing and pathetic at times…
Continue reading Tired of looking for the win.
Sometimes I skip a dose.
I take antidepressants three times a day, every day. Twenty milligrams of Trintellix and twenty of Latuda. The latter is a bit of a misery. It locks up the muscles in my face and causes tongue twitches. Really. It’s why I pushed dinner back to eight o’clock. I take the drugs with food, so if I can eat late, I only have to be awake with the side effects for a short while.
Sometimes, I skip a dose… Continue reading Sometimes I skip a dose.
What movies have taught me.
Movies have taught me that I should make sure my shoes are always end of the world appropriate. I don’t want to be stuck fighting aliens or natural disasters in high-heeled boots. Especially since they’d likely be my last pair of shoes…. Continue reading What movies have taught me.
