An eating disorder isn’t really about the body. The problem originates elsewhere. It’s history, nature, both, and neither. It’s what makes treatment challenging. Everyone comes from a different place. There’s no eating disorder penicillin. For me, anxiety is a large piece of the puzzle. The historical happenings are significant but my anxious nature is why my compensatory behaviours went the way they did. Anxiety feels … Continue reading Not about the body.
Once upon a time, I took a Women’s Studies course. I took it because it had room and I needed an elective. I wasn’t expecting much but I ended up enjoying myself. I was exposed to new ideas and I learned a new language that allowed me to label ideas I already entertained. The course gave me the tools to conduct more effective arguments in … Continue reading Conflicted about poisoned trees.
If I am when I think, am I not when I don’t? That hasn’t been my experience. When I’m meditating, when I’m not thinking in favour of simply being, that’s when I feel most “me”. Absenting thoughts in favour of pure existence is my favourite kind of meditation. It’s also the one I struggle with most; my monkey brain loves to follow every random, … Continue reading Not thinking.
I’m a fan of the tree. I have been since I was small. I love me some forest and I’m lucky; it’s only a stone’s throw away. My childhood home had a yard full of trees. In my memory, the backyard was an ocean of grass and forest. I visited recently: where I grew up is not far from where I live now. The backyard … Continue reading A fan of the tree.
