Author: Michelle

I've lived with mental illness my whole life. I walk hand-in-hand with my neuroses these days, and sometimes I write about what that's like for me. I prefer the peaceful coexistence of détente to the open warfare of the past. I'm also in recovery from an eating disorder that ate decades of my life, pun intended. It's been hard: recovery is very much a walk through hell - the rainbows, puppies, and chocolate fountains come later - but it's worth it. Recovery lets you have the life the eating disorder promises and lies about 💜
Mental Health

So. Death.

I didn’t think I was still bothered by death. We’re not unacquainted, after all. I thought I had more equanimity about the process. I can talk the talk. We’re dying from the moment we’re born. We’re mortal. The clock starts ticking the moment we first draw breath. None of us knows when our time is up. Death isn’t a tragedy; it’s simply a function of … Continue reading So. Death.

Unknown's avatarMichelle3 Comments
Mental Health

A certain age and chin hair.

I’m a “lady of a certain age”. That’s the term from the historical romances I have an affection for, though in those books, “a certain age” for women is anything over the age of twenty-two. I’m well-past twenty-two and have the eye cream to prove it. And yet, I don’t feel different from when I wasn’t “over the hill”. In my head, I’m as I … Continue reading A certain age and chin hair.

Unknown's avatarMichelle2 Comments
Mental Health

Alone in the crowd.

I’m rarely lonely when alone. I’m often lonely around other people. It’s the connection. It’s the lack. I feel disconnected from the people around me, even when they’re family and friends. It’s like I’m surrounded by a bubble that prevents me from reaching and being reached. It’s like we function on parallel but different, non-intersecting planes. Most of the time, when I start to feel … Continue reading Alone in the crowd.

Unknown's avatarMichelle8 Comments