A family friend died this past weekend. I learned about it on Wednesday morning. Then I went out and bought cat food. It’s an oddity of death; for those of us left behind, life goes on. It seems like it shouldn’t. It seems like the world should pause, acknowledge the passing of the now dead, …
"...The screen saver on my computer is set to the photograph file. When the computer is at rest, it plays a montage of all the pictures I’ve taken and uploaded, ever. What a wonderful thing that is. I get to see pictures of my children when they were young, of my parents when they were young too. I revisit vacations and school concerts and birthday parties. I see funny moments, and serious ones, and tender ones too. Sometimes, I just sit at the desk and watch my life roll by. I’m not in it very much..."
"i’ve tried to kill myself three times, most recently in november of 2014.
it is a bizarre thing to able to write that about yourself. it’s a strange thing to know about yourself, to know that you are capable of taking such drastic action. there was a point in my life, long past now..."
"i've killed my son three times this week, and my father twice, and it's only tuesday. ptsd is a bitch."