the problem with easy

the behavioural impulses associated with my mental illnesses are at best, ones i’ll ultimately regret, and at worst, ones that are harmful. i fight against the negative urges, hate myself for having them, and give in more than i’d like but i don’t think about them at a level above stubborn resistance very often. why is it so hard to separate ourselves from behaviours that … Continue reading the problem with easy

anger is a design flaw

“from a journal after a hard day: “my eating disorder makes me angry, mean, full of sharp edges, wholly self-centered, and judgmental as hell.”

i suppose this is true for almost everyone who struggles; i know it’s true for me. catch me around a binge; i’m not a pleasant person to encounter. i’m angry and short-tempered, and i lash out in an effort to mitigate my guilt and self-hatred. i want people to hurt when i hurt. i want someone to blame.” Continue reading anger is a design flaw