The expert in the room.

Do you know what irritates me? I am fifty-years-old. That’s not it. The “irritated” bit comes later. I have suffered from an eating disorder for thirty-nine of those years. With anxiety for all of them. Depression for thirty-three. That’s a lot of time. And I haven’t wasted it all. I have read and talked and …

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When the notebook is new: thoughts about eating disorders.

I have a new notebook for journalling. The timing worked out well; I used the last page of my previous journal on the last day of the month. Such lovely synchronicity. I have a new notebook and that’s an intimidating thing. I’ve already started wrong. I bought a small notebook this time – five by …

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If you’re going to lose your temper, stay away from hammers.

Anger is in the news a lot these days. People are feeling it. Politicians are using it as a recruiting tool. News channels are using it for ratings. I’ve written about it myself, discussing how often, anger is a secondary emotion masking something underneath, like pain or shame. We don’t want to deal with the …

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A little bit feral: problems with perception.

I was feeling feral the other day. A little edgy, a little hypervigilant, a little thin-skinned, and a little aggressive. The word “feral” seemed to sum all that up which is why I threw it out in response to the “how are you” query made by an acquaintance. I knew I’d made a mistake when …

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Do the structural work.

People like to say we start out perfect. “Look at that perfect baby.” I remain unconvinced regarding the accuracy of that statement. For one thing, the idea of the “perfect” baby denies the reality of babies born with problems of a wide variety of types. Positing “perfect” as the default position is unkind. It’s also, …

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