Step by step camping.

Depression and anxiety are problematic. They have a negative impact on the way I think and feel about things. Depression and anxiety ebb and flow. Sometimes, I nearly succeed in banishing them; unfortunately, they regroup and swell and try to take over the whole of me once again. Often, they seem overwhelming, too big to battle...

You have to eat, even when you’re afraid.

Sometimes, I think if I take off the reins, the urge to eat will take over my world. I know where it comes from and what drives it, this feeling that I can’t ever consume enough. This feeling that if I start, I’ll never stop. It’s from the eating disorder, from a lifetime of restriction and deprivation. You can’t undo what’s been done. I can’t go back in time and eat the food now I didn’t eat then. But I worry that without the restrictions I still have in place, I’ll try...

Take a breath.

I was lying in bed the other morning, not sleeping but also not eager to face the day, when I heard thumps coming from the other room. After some internal debate, I decided it probably wasn’t zombies and got up. I expected to find my cat doing something she ought not to be doing, knocking over plants, perhaps. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a small bird – a Toey – bashing itself on the window in a frantic attempt to escape. Poor, desperate, little thing...