...I get overwhelmed by sensory input at times. I don’t like crowds, or even just a large number of friends together. I don’t like loud noises for sustained periods. I don’t like a lot of physical touch; hugs and arms slung around my shoulders are mostly a no-go. I don’t like excessive visual inputs – things like strobe lights start to bother me very quickly. And there are a lot of things I don’t like about clothing. I’d be probably go naked more often if I didn’t have that whole body-hatred thing going on...
Guard your own borders.
It’s not other people’s job to identify my boundaries, it’s my job to make them clear. It’s not other people’s job to monitor my boundaries, it’s my responsibility to enforce them. I hate the truth in those statements...
If “ought to” was easy.
Wouldn’t it be nice if “ought to” was easy? Wouldn’t it be cool if we defaulted to health and life-enhancing behaviours? There are people out there who do; I read about them and see their inspirational memes all the time. They are my goal; I would love it my default setting was life-affirming. Unfortunately, when things get tough for me, I tend to do two things: withdraw from the world, and engage in harmful behaviours. This is not a winning philosophy...
Battle Fatigue and a Papilloma.
I’m depression-tired. It’s different from regular tired. I didn’t wear out my body with activity or my mind with inputs. I’m tired in my soul. There’s an element of self-pity and petulance to the resurgence. “This? Again? Seriously? Not fair.”