Recovery, philosophy, mental health, things that interest me, and random poetry.
"I was driving home the other day when I had an epiphany – I don’t have to live my life for other people. This isn’t a new thought and it’s certainly not unique. It’s an idea I’ve been exposed to repeatedly but have failed to execute; however, there, on the side of the road as I pulled the mail out of the mailbox, it came to me again and this time I felt it in my bones. Suddenly, it seemed visceral."
"trigger warning – self harm I’m standing at a fork in the road and I’m paralyzed. It’s a pretty big fork, with plenty of places for me to play. I don’t play well with others a lot of the time so I’m here alone, which is unfortunate since the games I play when I’m by myself and feeling distressed generally involve some form of self-harm. This explains the half inch hole that I’ve dug in my chin that’s now infected..."
"i can feel the changes coming as the pressure builds up inside my chest, deep in my soul..."
"I was having an imaginary conversation with some imaginary strangers while sitting on my deck this morning. This is not entirely unusual; I often have imaginary conversations with imaginary people about contentious topics..."
"i realized something this weekend. my family is competitive and not in a good way. looking back, i should have seen the signs. my therapist told me she thought the conclusion was obvious yet until i had the thought this weekend, i couldn’t see the behaviour for what it was."
"it was only a joke to lighten the moment,
a thought i shared
to break the tension
that backfired into a passion i was unprepared to deal with,
leading to a risk i didn’t want to take."
"it’s been two years since i first started this round of medication and it’s the eighth or ninth time that i’ve been on anti-depressants since i was twenty."
