“when i wake up, my body is present, but my brain is not engaged. i like those moments. once my brain goes online, i find out if i’m going to be anxious or depressed or what. it’s apparent within minutes of rising if the day is going to start with a struggle. but those quiet moments of calm before the storm? i embrace them.”
“i wish i could turn off my memories,
edit or revise them so they’d play out as i intended.
my thoughts, however, remain resolute and staunch in their determination
to replay the pain as it happened.”
“i love me a good disaster film. as far as i’m concerned, the greater the level of destruction, the better. i don’t want to see actual carnage. i have no interest in observing piles of mangled and devastated bodies. i’m okay with implication. long shots of waves wiping out whole populations or tornados ripping apart cities are best enjoyed when actual death is glossed over. i like to focus on the spectacle. i can’t enjoy them if i think too closely about what’s happening or see bodies lying around.”
“move through life slowly and do it with grace,
grandma said to me.
make your way like you’re walking through water;