"i’m trying hard to be here. it’s difficult. i have a great deal of practice not being present. my body is in the here, but most of my attention is elsewhere; it’s seldom on the now."
Month: August 2018
problematic peer pressure
"i’ve been feeling quite a bit of peer pressure of late. if someone came to me with a similar complaint, i’d suggest they give the offending party a miss for a while but that won’t be possible in this case. it’s awkward to avoid someone when the someone you’re seeking time away from is you."
a teal facecloth
"to the left of me on my desktop is folded up, teal facecloth. it’s a particularly virulent shade that hasn’t faded as much as one would have hoped over the years, and it has been years. i acquired the cloth in grade ten, more than three decades ago. i’ve kept it all these years as a hair shirt of sorts; it’s not the only one of those i have lying around."
inessential things
"from today’s journal prompt: “what inessential things can i eliminate from my life?” my immediate response was to plan on buying more garbage and recycling bags so i could work on culling the contents of the closets and storage cupboards. they are full of things i don’t really need but find difficult to part with."
off the wagon
"how do you explain to someone who doesn’t speak the language, who hasn’t made the trip to the edge and looked over..."
i’m fat again today
"so i’m fat today but not fat. i have incongruity. what i know to be true and what i feel are utterly at odds. it’s a disconcerting and uncomfortable feeling."
a new bodega
"i’ve started going to a new corner store – to call it a bodega might be stretching the definition some. it’s been a challenge; if you don’t suffer from anxiety, you might not realize what an enormously big deal a change like this is."
