reading for the sheer pleasure of it

"i read stephen king’s “the stand” last weekend and it was fantastic. i enjoyed reading it immensely. i’m sure there are critics who disliked the book, and people who won’t hesitate to point out the flaws, and i will admit that at times his level of description is over the top, but at the end of the day the book did what a novel is supposed to do. it entertained me. it pulled me into the story and let me live in a different world for a while."

when not to make big plans

"i have the ‘flu. okay, it’s not the ‘flu it’s a cold, but it’s a bad one. well, not bad, but i’m definitely miserable. my nose is running like a tap, i have the fuzzy brain that comes from congestion, i’m ache-y and cough-y, and yesterday i’m pretty sure i set a world record for sneezing."

constancy is not cool when talking about anxiety

"most of the time, “constancy” is seen as a good thing. a dependable anxiety disorder, however, is not really anyone’s dream."

“i can’t” means something else entirely

"“i can’t do it.” how often do people use that phrase? i’ve used it myself frequently. it was my go-to response when i thought about stopping my harmful behaviours. “i can’t do it. i can’t stop. it’s out of my control. i want to but i just can’t”. “can’t” is an interesting word. often, our use of it isn’t technically accurate."

a little maudlin and over the top

" “it’s hard to fix it when you break into a million pieces. sometimes, i almost feel like the self i was ‘once upon a time’; other times, i feel like i’ll never be whole again.” i wrote this down on my notepad when i thought it; it felt deep. “once upon a time” is back before my breakdown; before my depression, anxiety, and other issues got the best of me and left me shattered.             sometimes, when i have thoughts like these, it causes me distress. other times, i think wow, am i ever being maudlin and overly dramatic. yes, my breakdown was a big deal but i don’t need to keep it fresh. it’s okay to let it go. it’s okay to get better."

you can’t eat enough to quench a thirst

"we all have needs. we have wants too but those are different. it’s hard to believe they are sometimes, but it’s true, and the distinction is getting lost. my pocketbook pays the price of the incorrect labelling but it’s not wholly my fault. it’s hard to label our impulses correctly in this age of constant marketing."

if i could change without changing, that’d be great

"i woke up this morning and it felt like i had not slept at all. the energy that rushes in as one wakes up to face the day was completely absent. all i felt was the drag of overwhelming fatigue and the mental distress that comes about when my depression decided to rise up and attack."